Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
