Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
