Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
