I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
