No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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