Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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