your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
