i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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