So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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