sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
