after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
