Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
