I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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