a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
