she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
