I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
