dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
