Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
