Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
