whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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