Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
