Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize