we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
