I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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