No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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