maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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