Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
