i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
