So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I wish there were birth control emojis
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
