we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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