i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
