I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
