what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
