we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
