You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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