do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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