that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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