it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
