Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
