This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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