I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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