I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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