Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize