you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
