if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
