The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we're making bets on your personal life
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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