do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
