seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
