Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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