hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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