I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
