why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
your like the ambassador to my penis.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
