There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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