oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
