I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
