i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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