i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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