so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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