i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
