I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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