I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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