shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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