So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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