does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
