i already hear my dad disowning me
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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