A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
