woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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