I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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