Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
