Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
