I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
