White coat. Heels.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
